Historical Parody
  • Home
  • Mr. Flanagan
  • Mrs. Flanagan
  • Becky's Blog
  • "Flanagan's Corner"
  • Where in the world are the Flanagan's?
  • Venues
  • Photo Album
  • Contact Us!

Significance

12/31/2014

0 Comments

 
Hey, It's me everyone!

Once again I have left a short delay (Seven months) in posting a new Flanagan's Corner so as to increase the suspense and create excitement from the masses pondering the next stimulating and thought provoking musing!! Well, maybe not.

Anywho, (Yes anywho, not anyhow) I'm back yet once again. If you've read Flanagan's Corner before you know it's my own little slightly irreverent, whimsical and eccentric look at history. This current post will contain the same high level of wit, intelligence and humor that you all have grown to crave, humbly speaking of course, but will also in this particular case be a bit more high falutin, (Is that how ya spell falutin? Well, it must be as that is the way I spelteded it.) So here goes.

According to an old story, a traveler walked into a country store in the hills of Kentucky one wintry day in 1809 and asked, "Anything new happen around here lately?"The proprietor almost laughed."Around here, stranger? Nothing happens around here, least wise anything important. A baby was born in the Lincoln cabin last night; that's all."


That would be ABRAHAM LINCOLN! I'm not so sure the story is a true one and surmise probably not, but funny how so many simple events seem so insignificant, but end up having monumental results not foreseen. There is Napoleon's delay in starting the battle at Waterloo which may have been one of the most if not biggest reason for his loss that day. Since this topic deals with the French we will not waste anymore discourse on this distasteful discussion. (If you are French or of French descent, don't be angry. I will diss the Germans on my next post. AND I am of German ancestry.) Well, why not start with the dissing the Germans now. There is Adolf Hitler's delay in the manufacture of the ME 262 jet fighter as purely an air superiority fighter which could have changed the air war over Germany in his favor. He preferred instead a jet that would be mainly a dive bomber.


So you see what I mean when some seemingly small events or decisions seem relatively unimportant at the time. As this time of the year is the Christmas season and even though we celebrate in the USA many "Holidays" during this time, Christmas is the main reason for the massive celebrations here and around the world. The "Reason for the season" has been lost for most I fear and replaced with a modern day travesty of materialism, "It's about family and friends," gluttony, drinking, starting with the endless parade of "CHRISTMAS-LESS songs two months in advance of DEC 24/25. Sure, sure, even I like some of the secular songs like Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire or Let It Not Snow, Let It Not Snow, Let It Not Snow. Who doesn't!! But by the 1756th time they get a bit AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Enough. (Who among you has actually roasted or tasted roasted chestnuts?? C'mon,! But I digest.


Now I come to my main point. (FINALLY DUDE) Although the early church and Christianity did not celebrate or much acknowledge "Christmas" per-Se until the early 300 AD. years and December 25th is NOT the actual birthday of Jesus, but was chosen by Christians either as a replacement of pagan holidays held at the same time or as one tradition has it, Dec. 25 being nine months after Mary was told by the angel Gabriel of her ensuing miracle pregnancy. That is not the point no matter when He was born. It is as the title of this post (Getting long I see. How does that always happen???) says, the SIGNIFICANCE of the the event. The birth celebrated, in the end, is the reason for Christmas. 


Imagine the scene that started this posting, with some of the particulars of time and place changed.


According to an old story, a traveler walked into a small Inn on the outskirts of a small Judean village











0 Comments

History!

8/21/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
History, Who doesn't love it!!??!! (Ignore that photo behind the curtain! The Great Oz has Spoken!) Okay, okay, I confess, once in a great while and I mean GREAT while, my classroom may have looked like this, but there was always a Bavid Fictum, (Real name cleverly disguised to protect the innocent) to save the day! Can't figure out why the Grover Cleveland years may have bored them? But in the end I still say, Who doesn't love history? 

C'mon now. How can history not be exciting for one and all? With stories about knights in shining or even dull armor, the French.....ha ha, the French, English royalty warring among themselves, probably over tea or crumpets, unsinkable ships, well, maybe not TOTALLY unsinkable and cool airplanes of either world war. (A big fan of the French Spad. I know, a French plane! Who'd a thought?) There's yummy canned meat with rat tails and varmint droppings from the turn of the century, political scandals from the past. Well, obviously from the past cause there would be no modern scandals in politics today would there?? (Cough..Fast and Furious...cough..IRS...cough..Ever Changing "AFFORDABLE" choke, choke, choke, Care Act rules and regulations..cough and......okay no more, totally unbiased, political ramblings. And how bout Millard Fillmore, huh!!? Nuff said.
We can even chat about revolutions all over history like the American Revolution, the English Revolution, the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, and the 33 Revolutions Per Minute. Too many there to teach all of em.

What about cool inventions throughout history? My favorite, the flush toilet! (Come on, you gotta agree the alternatives make this, one great invention and INDOORS besides)  Of course there is the 100 Years War, (How come reenactors don't reenact this war? You'd have to rotate the hobby through your offspring. Long war.) or if that's too long how about the 90-ish day Spanish American War. Didn't even get the most of the Cavalry's horses on the battlefield in time for this one. Only the "Dis-Mounted" Cavalry was ready for this one...Private joke chuckle.

So much neat stuff in history and I haven't even scratched the surface. Wow, scratching is even a history thing. It could be the scratching of a quill pen dipped in ink when Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, or the scratching of chickens feet on a pioneer farmstead, or the starting point in a sporting event or baking an item from original ingredients from start to finish. Whew and I didn't even mention the scratching from mosquito bites that could at one time kill you. 

So who says history has to be boring!! WHO I SAY?? I think you all had better call up your former history teachers and apologize for sleeping in class. I'm just sayin! I guess that would keep me on the phone a long time if all my former students did, soooo....never mind. 

Now go out there and read a history book for the gipper! Ah, even some history in the word gipper. Here's a clue to find out it's meaning. Ronald Reagan. I'm talkin history oozing out of every pore on this one. Okay, go, learn and be fulfilled and may the force be with you. 




0 Comments

Songs and Food, Yum, Yum!

5/19/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
I love songs. I love food. I love songs about food!! Well, not as much as I love food I guess.

I bet you didn't know that the U.S.Civil War spawned (Which leads to new fish, which then leads to a real tasty fried meal any night of the week) a whole lot of songs; from rousing patriotic tunes such as "The Bonnie Blue Flag" and "Battle Cry of Freedom," to songs of home as in "Just before the Battle Mother" and "Aura Lea." There were even songs about food, one of my favorite topics.

A Civil War food song I really like is "Goober Peas." Goobers ya ask? Yes, Goobers and I don't mean the store bought, chocolate covered candy treats either. I'll give you a hint to what Goobers were. The lyricist's name was P. Pindar and the name of the composer was P. Nutt. Haha, funny huh. Not as funny as seeing me try to run anymore, Did ya know I used to be a triathlete? Yup. I did those swim, bike, run, races once upon a time. I lost over 55 lbs and started competing. I wasn't too bad at it either. There I would stand at the beginning of each race about to do the swim portion, me in my speedo....  (I guess that sight would be even funnier or sickening depending on yer point of view.) But, once again I digest. Actually the song was not published until after the Civil War and the publisher with tongue in cheek used those two names. Pindar you ask? That was along with goober, another name for the peanut. Interesting hey!

Another song was "Hard Crackers Come Again No More." This song was a parody of the song "Hard Times Come Again No More." Now I like crackers, especially with soup or slathered in butter, or with cheese, but these crackers, known primarily as hardtack, were also named teeth dullers because they got so hard after sitting for a long while before getting to the soldiers. These were mainly Union fare as the Confederates were usually supplied with corn meal. I'm not sayin they were too hard to eat, but it was often said that if the yanks ran out of minnie balls, (No not small meatballs! Sheesh, get real folks. This is a serious work of literary note and not a place for foolish and inane commentary!!) they would just throw hardtack at the enemy. 

Yet another piece about food from the Civil War was a song called "John Harrolson, John Harrolson." This song talks about how the South due to shortages of saltpeter or nitre in making gunpowder, took to using woman's pee collected from chamber pots and poured into a wagon pulled around town and........ well......, I guess this is more of a song about the aftermath of food during the Civil War. Nevermind. 


That being said I hope ya learned something about songs and food in the Civil War. Next topic, Civil War Toilet Paper!





0 Comments

Weird Civil War Words, Like Weirdsville Man!

4/24/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
The English language sure is a strange one isn't it. Especially when you mix it with words from other languages if ya know what I mean.
Duh!


Well, the U.S. Civil War had many such words that just make ya go to itching about what they meant. Of course it could just be lice that is making you itch or maybe you just don't wash enough. Could be you would get more dates or attention from your wife if ya washed. I bet you may even garner more friends if you showered daily and maybe used a little deodorant as well. You could even dress up a bit from the normal torn jeans and shirts with holes in them, then like me you may even stop bad habits like picking your nose in public plac..........ummm...anyways, here are some Civil War words that sure seem strange.


Abatis? Break it up into syllables. A Bait Is. Well, I know what a bait is. All depends on what yer fishin for. Could be worms, or leeches, or flies or just plain corn. I love corn on  the cob with a lot of butter and salt, but I digest. Sure enough it has nothing to do with fishin. It seems that it is a word for a bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches pointing towards the enemy. I don't know about you but I would have called it "A bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches, pointing towards the enemy." Sheesh!


Parrott Gun? Well, they seemed to have spelled this wrong. Parrot only has ONE t at the end. Is a gun that is used by a parrot all that scary? What, are the bullets the size of mustard seeds? Or... is it a gun that shoots parrots at you? Now that would be scary, seeing a feather flying parrot, beak first coming your way!! DUCK!! No actually PARROT!! So after doing some diligent research I found that it has nothing to do with a parrot bird! Seriously? It is a big cannon that has a unique look because of a reinforcing band of iron at its breech and it's named after its inventor Robert Parker PARROTT. Oh boy. Confusing I know.


Let's take one more example.


Cheval-de-Frise or chevaux-de-frise? Well, it sounds French to me and all I want to know is, what are the French doing in our private war?? Hmmm? One side or the other was going to lose and have to surrender and we didn't need the French to help, experts though they may be in that regard. (Brings up another Civil War couple of words, French Leave. Exactly! France....leave. Just leave. Please.)
Is this a finely done steak, some food with fries, or a mis-spelled wording of Chateau-de-frise, which means it is freezing at the Chateau. This word should come with it's own manual.


 So once again I sat down to hours of research in the French language and wouldn't you know it, the French came up with another word for a bunch of felled trees with sharpened branches pointing towards the enemy. Sure, sure they did a little more work with these trees as they took a log of the tree and and fixed spiked branches to it to and pointed them at the enemy. It comes from a French word for "horse from Friesland." I guess the Frisians (Who?) were the first to use this kind of defense. Wish it were land of the fries. Now I'm hungry!!


Well, enough of these language gymnastics!!! (Do I use the word well too much?) Well, I don't care!! So that's it for another....... FLANAGAN'S CORNEEEERRRRR!!


Disclaimer: There were no Frenchmen harmed in the making of this blog.








0 Comments

Japanese Secret WW-II Weapon Discovered

4/13/2014

1 Comment

 
Picture
Good thing the Japanese had not perfected their technology before we used the atomic bomb or things could have been much worse for the Allied forces.

Seen here in this just publicized, recently discovered World War Two photograph, is proof positive that the Japanese were onto something. The article I read (Which is still classified, I can't say more than that, but two words will give you a clue as to why...cement shoes! Nuff said.) that goes along with this photo stated that the guitar playing lizard was prototype model, Big Lizard 178. 

From what I can surmise from the top secret documents, is that BL 178, was a genetic experiment that went horribly array. Instead of a terrorizing lizard of immense proportions, that could emit fireballs that could sink the entire American Fleet, they came up with a model that sang Hawaiian music in the style of Don Ho. While a big hit with Japanese version of Gilligan's Island Skipper and Mary Ann, this weapon lacked the punch the Japanese military was looking for. Rumor had it that it was to be launched surreptitiously at American sailors, GI's and marines at back area USO shows with the intent of singing "Tiny Bubbles" over and over until our boys in uniform were in a hypnotic stupor, but the held to story is that the Japanese did not want to let this weapons program out of the bag at that time with hopes of protecting their secret. From what the US Intelligence agencies are now reporting,  a second baby prototype was being transported via submarine to a secret location to be grown to immense proportions using radiation technology. It is surmised that the submarine was sunk by US vessels near the deep Marianas Trench in the Pacific Ocean. Too bad. Well at least the program never back fired on the Japanese. For sure they saw the last of the Big Lizard 178 weapons program...........
Or did they???

1 Comment

Boy That Was Quick!

3/25/2014

2 Comments

 
I told ya I would be back.

BALLONABWEHRKANONE. 

There, I said it and I'm not taking it back. Well actually typed it, but, anyways, what a word! Except for a few of you Dutchie's out there I bet ya'll don't know what it means! Is it.......

A. What a good, decent person of German origin says to another after they sneeze? 

B. The name of a new German beer? (By the time one can get the name out to a bartender, they could have said give me a Pabst three or four times)

C. A tasty Schnitzel and sauerkraut meal?

D. One of Hitler's numerous military operations, 
      ie Operation Barbarossa?

E. None of the above?

You have ten seconds to decide starting.................NOW! GO!

Too late. It was E, none of the above. The actual answer is 

Z. A balloon defense cannon used by the Germans in the Franco-Prussian War 1870-1871. It was the first specifically developed Anti-Aircraft gun in history. It achieved one kill of a balloon outside of Paris on November 12, 1870. If ya look carefully you can make out the word balloon and cannon, but the word 'abwehr' probably threw most of you. That's what you get for taking LATIN in high school. What were ya thinking??!!??

Well, that's it for today. See ya next week. Auf Ballonabwehrkanone!
2 Comments

The New and Improved Flanagan's Corner!  (Kinda)

3/25/2014

0 Comments

 
Hi Folks. 

Well, it has been way too long since old (And I mean OLD) Flanagan has written a Flanagan's Corner and I'm not sure I still have a following. Truth be told my friends and others, (And some are now saying, "Am I an other?") since moving out to the Mississippi River area near the "prairie of the dog" in the Summer of 2012, it has been a bit of a change in my/our lifestyle. 

I've been doing some mini homesteading, farming, ranching, snow plowing, tractor driving, lumber jacking and overall handy man stuff here on the 725 acres of property we care take. One would think after teaching for nearly thirty years that I would be just fine settling in to this situation for the rest of my life. It has been quite the learning experience and even though I thoroughly enjoy many aspects of the life my Dawn and I lead here, (never thought I would be as knee deep in horse poop, dog poop, chicken poop and cat poop as I am) it has caused me to do some deeper thinkin and contemplatin.

I've been thinking about such things as my faith as a believer in Jesus Christ. He IS my Lord and Savior and I am trying to make that walk not just a religious experience, but one of a closer relationship with the one true God. Dawn and I have been through some tests of late as we contemplate God's plans for us and our future and I would even like to write some sort of blog, page or whatever you want to call it, about some of the more serious things a man of changing life in his fifties sees happening around himself and with others. Maybe even expound if anyone cares on some of the lessons in life I have learned, some the hard way, to be a help to others along the paths of their lives. That is for slightly later time.


That being said, I have decided that Flanagan's Corner needs to rise from the ash heap and provide a humorous, slightly irreverent slice of thought to folks existence in days where so much of serious note seems to pervade our world. (I shure iz a gud riter!) 

So stay tuned my minions. Flanagan's Corner is (almost) back!!!
0 Comments

The Return of Flanagan

10/24/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
I’m baaaack! Yes I’m back and I want to know something!

Jimmy Crack Corn and I don’t care!!! What??? Well, all I want to know is who is Jimmy and why does he crack corn and why doesn’t someone care? Poor old Jimmy. He sits there cracking corn minding his own business and folks just don’t seem to give a hang. Would people feel the same about little Jimmy if he was cracking walnuts, hmmmm? What if he was roasting chestnuts on an open fire? I suppose then everybody would care as they gathered around Jimmy with the warm fuzzies waiting to sample those chestnuts! Of course maybe Jimmy didn’t have walnuts or chestnuts and corn was all he had to work with. Of course folks do sure like roasted corn! Maybe no one cared cause all he had was creamed corn. Now, no one really likes creamed corn so I would understand if no one cared, but ya can’t really crack creamed corn, cause………well it’s creamed. No cracking possible. If all he had was corn then why didn’t the government step in and take some walnuts or chestnuts from someone more fortunate and redistribute them to level the playing field? Of course maybe it was the government that didn’t care in the first place. Of course, who can really know when it comes to someone cracking corn.

Sure, sure, some will say that it all has do to with a song written by minstrel performer and song writer Daniel Emmett and to crack corn was to gossip and and cracking corn came from and old Shenandoah expression meaning to sit around and chit chat. Others who don’t agree will just sit around gossiping and say that cracking corn was to open up a jug of corn liquor. I’m supposin to drink it I guess. Sure hope it wasn’t made with creamed corn. YUK! Either way it sure is puzzling! After all this talking about Ol’ Jimmy and his corn, I’m starting not to care either!

That’s it for now. Next time we will tackle the age old problem of how much wood can a woodchuck actually chuck!


0 Comments

In Celebration of the Irish

3/16/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
Ah, Top O the Mornin to ya lads and lasses! It's time fer anuther Flanagan's Carner to be shure. (Dun't worry about the spellin cause I'm writin with an Irish accent) Since Saturday, March 17 is St. Patty's Day, a day not originally known for just drinkin beer, dancing Irish jigs and singing Irish pub songs, but rather a day to remember St. Patrick who helped end the druid practices and expand Christianity in Ireland, (I've got a nice run on sentence going haven't I) I thought I'd write somethin in celebration of the Irish!

There is a Union Irish regiment that fought during the Civil War at Gettysburg that few people know about, even those of Irish descent. These lads were rather diminutive in stature and thus other Union regiments with a sense of derision referred to these brave lads as the Gnome Regiment. History tells us little about these courageous lads in blue. Union regimental war records do not even give a tiny glimpse into their actions during the war and no small amount of research has turned up any information on the glorious exploits of this almost lost to history group of Irish soldiers. But despite the lack of even minute data about this regiment, there is no doubt that these lads and their glorious deeds went about unnoticed by those they helped so long ago. As you can see for yourself in the above photograph, a monument was erected to this brave regiment in the town of Gettysburg. There is no inscription, no words to mark their deeds, regimental markers to spot their place in the line of battle, just this lone statue to mark their fame. I can gather thus that words were not needed, but that the monument says it all. The Irish Gnome Regiment was here and did its duty!  
  
Ah, I amaze even meself sometimes. I bet I'm the first historical researcher to ever really give credit to this "Lost Battalion" of regiments so to speak! HUZZAH!
 
2 Comments

History according to Flanagan.

3/9/2012

2 Comments

 
March 5th, 2012

Quick, what famous event happened in U.S. history on this day? Well, if you would have been listening in school, you’d know that today is the anniversary of George Washington’s chopping down a cherry tree, splitting fence rails from its trunk, using them to make a fort called the A la mode, all while he fought the bloody British down in New Orleans at the Battle of Waterloo! That sure taught those jerries not to mess with old Stonewall! There, now ya learned something! Oh sure there were other little things like the Boston Massacre, but I’m talking about BIG things! C’mon!! Now I’m sure ya can see why this man became our nation’s first President. Just sayin!

Ya know folks, history is very important. It is important to know ones history so we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past. Like the Republican party not coming up with lame candidates for the 2012 presidential election like they did in 2008. ;) I know yer saying “Sure Flaganan, YOU may have all these facts lined up straight in your head, a literal corn of cob in ya of historical information, but what about us common folks? We can’t possibly fit that all into our brains like you.” Well, let’s just start right here and start learning because you too can have a brain like mine! 

It was on this day in 1953 that the ruthless communist leader of the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin died. And here is the uncanny and almost scary thing. The hula hoop was patented ten years later, to the day, in 1963!! To strange to believe I know. I’ll just leave the facts as they lay and leave the rest for the conspiracy theorists to uncover.

So there you go. Are ya getting a brain like mine a little bit? Keep reading these postings and soon you will. It’s bound to have an effect.

Wow, keeping all these important and interesting tidbits of history in my brain hurts my head. Think I’ll take a nap.

2 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture

    Jamie Flanagan, Esquire

    Nothing fancy, just make sure to spell my name with 
    3 A's if ya please...

    Archives

    December 2014
    August 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    October 2012
    March 2012

    Categories

    All

    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photo used under Creative Commons from Darwin Bell